Stop Settling for Less!
You Deserve More
Settling for less, denying ourselves, or putting things off for later is something we do far too often.
”Oh those shoes are great – but I could never pull that look off.”
"I’d love to sing in a club one time, but I could never do that."
"I wish I had as much confidence as my friend, Andie."
How often do you catch yourself saying or thinking things like this?
We settle for less far more than most of us realize, on a daily basis. We might think it's no big deal, or that we're just being humble or modest or that we're being a little lazy. Perhaps. But when we do it too often or with regard to things that matter too much (love life, physical health, self-image, and more), the bottom line is that we don't think we deserve it. That we aren't worth the extra work. That we are being selfish, picky, demanding, or bitchy if we elect to ask more of ourselves and FOR ourselves.
I’ve gone through waves of settling for less in my life that
almost make me cringe to this day. (I say almost because I was doing the best I could at the time.)
My worst (best?) example is my first marriage. That was settling in a BIG way. I was very unhappy but figured that was life. I had not yet learned how to be true to my heart or be independent/self-reliant – but that’s another story.
I'll share another example. In my early 20s I was overweight, depressed and totally out of touch with my needs, wants, and identity. I wore
clothes
that were more appropriate for someone much older and frumpier than me. Deep down, I thought that was all I deserved. That it didn't matter, that I didn't matter. I was a passive bystander in my own life. I had not yet realized that I had a
choice
about most everything in my world.
The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little. ~ Thomas Merton
It often feels easier to settle than to fight for what you want, but in the long run it’s much more work. To not fully express who you are and to deny yourself your birthright to choose to be happy and to have fun, is ultimately a draining and depressing influence on your life.
We slip into these patterns sometimes, but be aware of when you're consciously tempted to settle, to slide into “this is good enough” mode. Keep giving yourself the time and energy to be your best. Yes, it takes energy, and it takes faith, but ultimately the more you live with that energy and attitude, the more joy and energy it gives you back. You deserve and ARE better than that!
Pay attention to your thoughts and to that little sad feeling or twinge in your heart when you deny yourself things that matter to you. A thousand of those little stings add up to make an unfulfilled and lonelier life than any of us deserve when happiness and joy is right there for the taking.
Don't put off your dreams for later.
Remember, it’s not about a number or anything so rigid -
be kind to yourself.
It’s about how you feel. Be dead honest with yourself and your internal compass will steer you straight.
Accept yourself and keep pushing yourself to be your best you WHILE loving yourself (no conditional love allowed: "I'll love me when I lose 20 pounds" - no, sister, that is not how it works). Find love in your heart for yourself as you are *right now* and you will find the inner strength and belief that can move mountains.
Now go do something nice for yourself because you are a special and beautiful person and you deserve it!
What's Your Life Vision?
Get Started on Your Best Life
Don't Let Negative Thoughts Run Your Life
Create Your Best Self Collage
Take the Dream Interview
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Are Your Choices Working for You?
Live the Romantic Life
Choose a Dream to Start With and Dive In
Feeling Worthy of Your Dreams
Return from Settling for Less to Confident Vision Living
